Monday, 03 September 2007

WANTED

Gnome, Pietermaritzburg, desperately seeking a full 9 hours of sleep (after very inadequate rest last night). The following items could greatly improve her chances of having a peaceful night's rest.

1.) Mosquito repel device (ANY kind - just not repellent*). You know it's spring when you can't sleep cause of the mozzies humming in your ear. Gnome spent hours last night trying to slap away the mozzies. All in vain. The mozzie saw Gnome's dozing off as a go-ahead to attack.

2.) Temperature regulator. Going to bed with your feet hanging out from under the duvet, only to wake up feeling cold later, putting on socks, only to wake up again, sweating. Temperature changes during the night = grumpy Gnome.

3.) Bigger bladder. As much as Gnome tries to go back to sleep after waking up with a full bladder, there's just nothing for it. The trip to the loo is inevitable. And scary**.

4.) Noise extinguisher. Fate will have it that Gnome and her husband live in a place where a rooster does its nut at 3 in the morning.

5.) Simmons Beautyrest Individual Pocket Coils Mattress and Ace-sized (as opposed to Queen or King) duvet. Even though Gnome is quite a deep sleeper, when her husband moves around like he did last night, an individual pocket coil mattress and a larger duvet might have ensured her a few more minutes undisturbed sleep***.

If anyone is able to assist with any of the above items, please get into contact with Gnome immediately. She is very willing to negotiate about prices.

*Peaceful Sleep, Tabard, whatever you are using, the stuff might repel mozzies, but simultaneously makes you repell others (STINKY!).
**Since watching "The ring", looking into the mirror at night has never been the same again.
***No, Mom and Dad, this does not mean I agree with the separate bed/duvet theory.

7 comments:

Unknown said...

oh the agony!!
yeah, I want one of those beds too!!! I know Gnome, I know, maybe take a sleeping pill?
Okay, not healthy,but still.
Are separate beds for better night rest?

St John's/Bethlehem said...

Ai. Married life... :-) It's not like this every night (thankfully - although husband does snore too occasionally...). My mom and dad have seperate bed cause they have such different sleeping patterns - dad goes to bed really early, mom really late. Mom really light sleeper, so they have sep beds. Works for them :-) Whenever they go to a guesthouse and have to sleep in the same bed they don't get much sleep! Dad usually digs out a mattress from somewhere and sleeps on the floor :-) Been a debate in our family forever - sep beds vs one bed for married couples. I would much rather put up with occassional bad nights and still be able to cuddle.

Unknown said...

CUDDDDDDDDDDDLE!!

Anonymous said...

Gnome...try sleeping under a fan (even if it doesn't go very fast). The little whiners have trouble flying against a breeze and it might even help with the climate control issue in summe at least.

SheBee said...

You know what works for me? Keep a fan on throughout the night, for some reason the noise drives them away. Also, burn citronella candles for the odd stray one who refuses to leave.

Ditto on the bed. I will fight you for it, sister.

St John's/Bethlehem said...

Thanks for the fan tip guys. I will totally try that!! And the cintronella candle, thanks SheBee.

St John's/Bethlehem said...

Thanks for the fan tip guys. I will totally try that!! And the cintronella candle, thanks SheBee.