Shrek the third

If you have a chance - PLEASE go see Shrek the Third. I don't have a favourite among the 3 movies, they are all equally good. We really had a LAUGH last night. Donkey is totally my favourite character!

The Bible

I sometimes forget how exciting the Bible really is. Have been reading a book by Francine Rivers about Jonathan. She basically takes the story of Jonathan from the Bible, and makes it a little more readable - like a novel. I find it so fascinating that these stories survived. And when you see how the people lived back then... It's SO different to how we live now. Their worldviews, their ideas about God - it's all so different - sometimes even disturbing. It's difficult to try and put ourselves in their shoes - but luckily I have a very wise and knowledgeable theologian as a husband that sheds much light on my pressing questions.

Never been kissed

SIGH. I just love romantic comedies. We were watching "Never been kissed" last night. My husband soon traipsed off to bed, but I couldn't help watching til the end, even though I've probably seen this movie 4 times already. I know, I know: love is exaggerated and usually portrayed as all moonlight and roses in the movies, but it still warms my heart and makes me feel all fuzzy. I'm probably just falling for all of the Hollywood tricks, but when they finally get together in the end and kiss and everyone cheers... SIGH. Before I met my husband I was rather disillusioned with love. I was convinced that butterflies, warm fuzzy feelings and unreal movie-like kisses were a fabrication. Imagine my ecstasy when I started to feel all these things when I met my husband. Now when I watch a romantic comedy I can turn off the TV, waltz into the bedroom and get my very own unreal movie-like kiss :-)

Paris' prison writings

Had a good laugh at Pat Pillai on E News last night. He was so amused by the Paris-Hilton-coming-out-of-jail-story, that he had trouble reading the headlines. Apparently Paris read Larry King some of her prison writings... HA! She wrote prison writings in 23 days in jail! OH MY HAT. I just can't believe this woman. Plus she was complaining about the TERRIBLE prison food - lunch was polony sarmies...

Don't mess with my man

For those who know me, know that I'm a rather peaceful person. I forgive easily, and hate conflict situations. As a matter of fact, I would much rather avoid them, or sort them out as soon as possible. I can't stay angry long at anyone - even if I try. But yesterday I surprised even myself. My husband's well-being was being threatened and something in me I have seldom been aware of caught fire and exploded in me like an angry serpent rearing its head. I responded in a weirdly calm way, but in such a way that put my point across beautifully. I felt as though I had 10 cups of strong coffee - the adrenaline was pumping in my veins. It was only later that it become clear to me what I had done, and it seemed a little out of character. Yet I still stand by what I did. I take full responsibility, and, as it turns out, it was the right thing to do. Let this be a warning: don't mess with those that I love; especially not my man :-)

Heaven

My husband and I were speaking about heaven last night. Sometimes we both wish we were there already. How wonderful to be with God all the time and to have no worries about money or the future or whatever. We wondered, though, how it would be. No physical bodies, just souls... Floating around? Do other souls recognise each other? I really hope so! Would want to recognise my husband and good friends and family in heaven. Or do you not remember what happened on earth? Or don't you care? Do you miss those that you love when you're in heaven? Probably not because it's so awesome to be in God's presence. But when people on earth that you love miss you, surely you feel something? Or don't we feel in heaven? Maybe there's no time there, so it doesn't matter how long you spend away from your loved ones... I guess we'll just have to wait and see...

Marie biscuits

When I was making my tea this morning, I came across a packet of Marie biscuits. I was a bit hesitant at first, finding in my mind a slight aversion towards them. But on a cold day a biscuit with my tea is just what I need. I ended up having 3 Marie biscuits before having to stop myself. Marie biscuits bring back Kindergarten memories. They're in the same league as Zoo biscuits, Niknaks and Boudoir biscuits. Remember how you would stick a ice cream cone on top of a Marie biscuit with icing, and make a clown out of that. Or sticking jelly tots and smarties on top of the Marie with icing to make a lopsided but yummy face.
I miss being a child sometimes.

Boundaries

When I was single, I was always very aware of what sort of signals I was sending out to males. Especially those that I wasn't interested in. It was terribly hard for me to be nice to men I wasn't interested in without them thinking I had ulterior motives. And even when I thought I had managed to convey a "purely friendship" message, it often turned out that those men thought there was more.

I've realised now that it was probably their fault and not mine. My husband has confirmed that a single guy is ALWAYS on the look-out. What's scary is that it's not only single guys. Men (AND women) like to have their egos stroked - whether they're in a relationship or not. Obviously we're not all like that - especially when you find the right person, you seem to get all the attention and ego-stroking you need from your partner. But when I was in a bad relationship it was nice to know that other men thought you were attractive, or were interested in you, even though you knew there wasn't a chance.

Luckily, my husband fulfills all my needs, and I am lucky to have many male friends that respect my marriage, some in relationships or marriages of their own.

But there's this guy at work. For some reason he freaks me out a little. From the beginning I have been a little weary. I have always kept my distance, never revealing too much, making sure to mention my husband constantly, but still being civil. He is himself in a serious relationship. I was beginning to think that it was all just in my head. But today when I was surfing on Facebook, he happened to walk past and saw my profile picture. He leaned in and said (way too close to my ear):
"You have a beautiful smile."

*SHUDDER*

Even if he meant it in a nice, innocent, friendship sort of way, I want to hear these sorts of things from my husband and not my colleague!!! I can't really think of any guy (other than my husband, maybe family, or a male friend I know REALLY well) that I would say something like that to... Maybe I'm overreacting, but that really gave me the creeps!

Under the weather

It's been so dry here for the last couple of weeks. And last night there must have been a huge fire, cause I woke up this morning with the most terrible sinus. Probably from breathing in little bits of black ash all night. ARG. It was all over the floor - blown through the open windows - by the front door and on the window sills. There is so much smoke and ash around today. It's just hanging in the air for us to breathe in - and for my sinus to get even worse. Seriously praying for rain.

Potential

Our cashier was out this morning, and it left me to deal with customers in the front. It didn't surprise me one bit that one of my professors from last year happened to waltz into the shop while I was in the front. He was just as surprised to see me working there.
"So you do a Masters degree and then you end up here? So you basically did a Masters degree for nothing?"
I was actually very embarrassed and could only mutter a "Pretty much, yes."
Does he really think I want to be here?
Later on however, when he asked me if I was happy with the job, and I said it wasn't really what I wanted to do, he said:
"No, no. This is not what you're supposed to be doing."
I was grateful that he said that. I sometimes get embarrassed when people see me at work. Because no matter how I look at it, this is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I have the potential for more than this. Much more.

Perspective

I don't know if anyone watched "I shouldn't be alive" on E on Saturday evening. My husband and I were under the impression that it was just another series like "Lost", and wanted to give it a skip, but by chance we watched the last half an hour. It was just so riveting - disturbingly so. From what we've gathered, it's about people who have very narrow escapes from death and live to tell the tale. Saturday's episode was about two guys who were hiking in the Australian rain forest (i think!), when a huge boulder fell onto the one guy's legs. The other one had to race back to the ferry to get help. He had to make it in a specific time, otherwise the ferry wouldn't go for another week, and his friend would surely die. It had us on the edge of our seats. Eventually the guy managed to get help, and the boulder was lifted off his friend's legs. Even though he survived, his legs had to be amputated.

Then in last night's nature slot on 3 they had a very interesting programme about the sun. They talked about solar flares, sun spots, the sun's age etc etc. Basically what they said was in a billion years from now the sun will be too hot for people to be able to live on earth. It will be 70 degrees during the day - the sea will melt and the planet will slowly become inhabitable. Eventually the sun will become a red giant - it will increase in size 1 000 fold, and the earth will be lucky not to be swallowed up by it; and then it will become a white dwarf and loose all its power. It is an absolute miracle that the earth is placed exactly at the correct distance away from the sun at the moment to allow for life on earth.

After these 2 thought-provoking shows, I really felt like I had some perspective. It just made me feel better about the problems and issues my husband and I are facing at the moment. Not that I feel unimportant, but just that I have a feeling of inclusion in something greater... Something much greater than me or my husband, or you, or all of our problems put together...

Milestones and birthdays

So I finally reached 1000 page views! I'm quite stoked. Always wonder who in the world actually stumbles onto my blog, and what they think...
I'm in a funny mood today. A bit all over the place with my thoughts and at work. (Could be the Sinucon I took this morning - it's got LOTS of caffeine in it...) Just when I think I have finished a task, a new one seems to pop up out of nowhere. Is actually quite refreshing since work has been so mind-numbingly boring lately.
Been thinking about birthday blunders I've made or received. Since it was Mrs M's birthday yesterday (hope you had a FAB day!) and it's LT's birthday today (Happy Birthday!), it's got me thinking about how I've forgotten people's birthday's (Sorry Mrs M...), how people have forgotten mine (Mrs M... :-)), and how I've wished people on the wrong day (once a whole month too early). Inevitably someone will phone me 2 days before my birthday and after singing a whole chorus of a hymn I just don't have the heart to say it's not my birthday. Somehow I've managed to give the exact same gift as someone else (always embarrassing when everyone's watching the person opening their gifts). But the worst was probably the time I gave a good friend a candle that someone had given to me as a gift. Unfortunately, the person who had given it to me had written a message to me on the gift wrapping, and it had made an imprint on the candle. Even though my friend was thoroughly amused I was incredibly embarrassed when she showed me the message, very clearly appearing on the side of the candle. I decided from then on never to regive a gift ever again.

Green men

We have a laugh every day at the Fidelity Guard that comes to get the cash. They're always men and come at unpredictable times every day. It's usually a different guy every few days, but we've gotten to know all of them now already. They are known to us as the "Green men". I can't see when they park outside, so inevitably there's always a colleague warning me by shouting: "The green man is here!".
For a while we had one that would run everywhere. It was actually funny. He would park and run all the way into the shop and back again. Once he forgot something in the van and ran all the way there and back.
When I get summoned to open the safe by a colleague it's usually accompanied by a: "Don't worry, it's not the running one." or "Quick, it's the running green man!".
Some are very talkative: they want to know how business is going and who our clientele are. Others just say Hi and do what they gotta do. For a while I got rather scared being stuck in an office with a stranger packing a pistol, but I've since gotten used to it.
Yeah, the green men really have a crappy job. Talk about high risk (one was shot just outside the shop a few months ago)! And they probably don't even get a salary that reflects the dangerous nature of their work.
Somehow these nameless green men have really become part of our daily lives.

Tastes like chicken

WHY is that whenever people try to describe a taste, it always ends up tasting like chicken. Crocodile? Oh it tastes like chicken. Snake? Tastes like chicken. Snails, frogs, horse, rabbit... They all seem to taste like damn chicken.

Snot vs Sleep

This morning I had some sleep in the corner of my eye. My husband pointed it out to me and tried to remove it without much success. I removed it and wiped it on his shirt. He nearly had a heart attack.
"But it's only sleep!" I said.
"Gross! Sies!" He said "Sleep is like snot!"
Surely not people. Sleep is elegant and cute - something you can wipe away in your partner's eye without being grossed out. Snot on the other hand IS gross and something you remove with a tissue - and then only from your own nose (unless it's your child or your partner is immobile).
Or do I have it all wrong?!

Facebook

I've just spent nearly the whole day on Facebook - searching for old school friends, and other friends that I've lost contact with but never forgotten. It's kind of weird. You realise that things have changed, people have changed, times have changed... It's like I've got one foot in the present and one foot in the past. Suddenly I start reminiscing about school days, varsity days... I seem to have been doing a lot of that lately. What's become really clear to me is that friends come and go. You have certain friends for certain times in your life - and they are perfect for that time. Most fall by the wayside when your paths part, the odd ones stick around for a while longer, and only the select few stay forever...

Irritated

Some people can be really rude. A bloke has phoned twice now because he supposedly received a missed call from our number. The first time he incoherently gave his name, didn't explain at all why he was calling and then still sounded irritated when I asked what he was after. I asked all my colleagues whether they had called someone by his name. No-one had.
"I've asked all my colleagues and no-one's called you, sir."
"WHAT?"
I repeated what I'd said. He rudely said "Where are you calling from?"
I said the name of the shop about 3 times, always to be greeted with a rude "WHAT?".
Still you need to stay polite, right?
Not 10 minutes later the same guy phoned. Without allowing me to say a word, he just gave me his number (?!) and said someone had called him. I tried to keep my voice as polite and calm as possible.
"You've just phoned, sir, and no-one has called you from here."
"Yes I just phoned."
(DUH)
"No-one's called you."
"What company are you?"
I repeated our name another 3 times, with the same rude "WHAT?" from the guy in between. Eventually he finally seemed to get the message.
Now that I think about it, maybe he wasn't rude, but just really stupid.

Office Politics

I've always heard about other people's office politics; how horrible it is to have to work with people you don't like or that don't like you; people talking behind your back, or little cliques forming. I've thankfully been spared this up to now. The people I work with are all great. And if I do have something to moan about, I definitely don't go to another colleague to discuss it, but rather go home and lament to my husband. A few weeks ago, a new lady joined the ranks, and in the beginning it was all good. We all laughed together and generally I think we were all relieved that she fit in with us. But recently the cracks have been showing. The new colleague seems to have developed a slight apprehension towards another colleague. But the worst of it is that she tends to tell all other colleagues about it - when the one she dislikes' back is turned. It's actually a little disturbing how some rally around her to hear the new whispers of gossip about "what he has said now". Sometimes she makes disgusted faces in my direction when the colleague in question has just said something she doesn't approve of. I have no problem with her having a personality clash with the guy, but I hate being involved in it! It's like she's forcing me to choose sides and I hate it. Can't we just all get along...?

Comrades Madness

When you live in Pietermaritzburg there is really no excuse to miss the Comrades Marathon. We got up at 05:15, and traipsed to the roadside with a huge flask of hot chocolate. Seems kind of cruel to stand there sipping your hot chocolate while the runners are freezing, but it was their decision to run in the first place. We stood for nearly a whole hour waiting for all the runners to go past. As a runner I can appreciate and understand why people would do a race like this. Even though I will probably never be as fit (or crazy) to do the Comrades, I have done my share of 10kms and even did 2 half marathons. I can't describe the feeling of satisfaction and pride you feel after having completed one of those. Even though your feet and legs are sore and you're sweaty, you are just on such a high. Just imagine how you must feel after having run 89km! The ultimate human race. Wow. What an achievement; what a high. I really take my hat off to those who ran yesterday. I'm probably even a little jealous.

I'm getting old

Went to a 21st on Saturday night. It was really great. Nice people, nice atmosphere, good food and music. I didn't really notice that I was one of the older ones until a friend mentioned that most of the people there were 21ish. I thought back to when I was 21. So naive and self-conscious. And stupid! I just cared so much about what other people said, made really bad decisions... Since I've been married I've really been able to relax, and not be so self-conscious anymore. And I'm more grounded and wiser :-)

It was only when the music started playing that I realised that I am just a little out of the music scene. I did know some of the songs, but a lot were punk rock - Blink 182, that sort of genre - which I had never heard before! And I always thought I was quite up-to-date with that type of music. But here I was amongst all these singing youngsters, not knowing how to move my lips, trying my hand (head) at head banging (which I haven't done in AGES). I felt the effects the next morning with a rather sore and stiff neck...

All in all I'm glad that I'm not 21 anymore. Those were great years, but I'm glad I've grown up since then. I feel like I know a lot more about life and love and just have a generally wider perspective. Makes me wonder what I'll say when I'm 30...

Peanut butter woes

Was so irritated when I got home for lunch to find NO bread, NO pita bread, NO form of quick-fix starch anywhere. My husband sick in bed, I rummaged around the cupboards to find some Provita stashed in the back. I feasted on the half-filled packet and they were gone in no time. Still not full, I descended on the peanut butter. I just love that stuff. I can eat it just like that. Absentmindedly I was putting teaspoon after teaspoon in my mouth while staring at the TV. When my brain was finally telling me that it was enough, I think it was already too late. Now I'm sitting at work, feeling strangely heavy. I can feel this peanut butter swimming around my tummy with a whole lot of Provitas. What do they say about too much of a good thing?

Dad

It's Father's Day on Sunday. Don't think my dad really thinks that much of these days (Valentine's Day, Father's Day etc) in the first place, but would like to post something about him anyway.

Remember how, as a teenager you used to be so embarrassed of your parents. I don't think I was all that bad, but did sometimes think my parents were a little out-dated and weird (funnily enough my dad always seemed rather thrilled to be labelled weird). But luckily when you get older you begin to appreciate your parents more and more, and you realise that, no matter how badly you wanted them to change when you were younger, they are who they are, and you really start to love them for it.

My husband says I become all tom-boyish when I go home to visit my folks. He says I turn into a daddy's girl. I denied it at first, but after some introspection realised that he was right. No matter how old I am, no matter if I'm married or even when (if?) we have children, I will always have a special connection with my dad. He makes me laugh; in times of crisis he is often the voice of reason; and I just think he's the coolest dad in the world (I fondly think back to our wedding where he was on the dance floor with all us young people, getting down with it).

Dad, I love you very much, appreciate you and think you're so cool. Happy Father's Day!

Robin Hood

Just heard on the radio about a German banker who took money from rich clients and gave it to clients he thought needed it more. I think it turned out to be around R19 million in the end. He didn't take anything for himself, only passed the money onto poor people. Eventually his conscience got the better of him and he turned himself in. Now he's been jailed for 3 years. Even though it's justice - I mean, he did steal quite a lot from others - it just seems unfair. This dude was just trying to correct an injustice. Even turned himself in. Bet the rich people didn't even notice that their money was disappearing...

Cheap

In aid of Youth Day, our management has supplied us with screaming bright green t-shirts, sporting a tie in which an inspirational message is written. Something like "16 June is the day on which we celebrate you, today's bright young minds and tomorrow's leaders..." That's all good and well, and I'm proudly wearing my t-shirt. Too bad management decided to use cheap material which is rather see-through. And I'm wearing a bright red bra today...

We're at war

It really felt to me today as if we as South Africans are in the middle of a war. My colleague attended a funeral today of a friend's father, who was hijacked and shot the night of his daughter's wedding. My colleague was still so shocked, I think he just needed to unload. We were all sitting around listening to him describing the funeral and the mourning family. Slowly we all started adding our own stories of death and crime. People are dying left, right and centre. We are not safe anymore. No-one is. What will it take to stop these people from killing, raping, torturing and molesting us, our parents and our children? No-one deserves this kind of suffering. It's just so unfair, so unnecessary. Life is so cheap in this country. There is no reverence and respect for each other. It makes me sick, angry, scared and sad.

Another colleague had this to say: The only thing that has really changed since 1994 is that we're all sitting here together, from different cultures, talking about this.

Quote of the day

"SAB are working 'around the clock' to prevent a shortage of beer."
- ETV News, 12.06.1007

(At least they have their priorities straight)

Exhausting boredom

It seems like everything is closed today. The garage we wanted to take the car to this morning to be fixed is closed; schools are closed; public and private sector workers are at home; public transport is not running; the streets are deserted. Can you imagine what a pleasure it must be to be working today.

Unfortunately I am one of those lucky ones. I think we have had 4 entire sales today. And it's nearly 15:00. I have spent the day surfing the net and basically twiddling my thumbs. Many of the businesses I tried to phone today regarding accounts were just not open. Today has just been so pointless. It has probably cost the company more to open the shop today than we have brought in. It's on days like these that I wish I lived further away and needed to take public transport to work. We were all secretly hoping we would get intimidated by strikers into closing the shop today. We were thinking of phoning our friends to come and do some intimidation.

So here I am, exhausted from boredom, while my husband is out having coffee with our friends.

YAY!

Ha! I am so chuffed with myself. I just won something! I think for the first time in my life. I don't mean like winning at school competitions or church bazaars (even though I doubt I've won anything there either), but something more... OFFICIAL. Like a real grown-up competition. And it was a simple matter of writing an email with my name in it. And it's worth R 300. It's not earth-moving, but hell, it 300 bucks!! I don't even actually care that it's a book about leopards (not really all that into them). I'm just so thrilled that I finally won something. YAY!

Parktown prawn!

I hate insects. The reason I don't watch Fear Factor is because they inevitably have to eat insects, or lie in a glass tomb and get covered in crawling, wriggling insects. YUCK. SHUDDER. PUKE.

Top of my list of "Most-Hated Insects" has to be the parktown prawn and the cockroach (in combined first place!). Coming in at close second is the spider. Any type. Big, small, colourful, hairy, whatever... Then in close third is the moth. I know - seems pretty silly. But somehow I just don't like them. I'm petrified that they'll fly into my hair, or into my mouth. Grim. Can you imagine. Eugh.

The rest all fall somewhere in between. Except the ant (not talking about the red or fire variety). The ant is pretty much stone last. I can live with them.

As much as I hate it when they're in my immediate vicinity, I just can't stand it when someone wants to kill them unnecessarily (I'm weird that way). Found a worm on my husband today. I screeched and threw the squishy thing off, but as soon as my husband put it on the ledge outside our window (on the first floor! How's the poor thing gonna survive?), I was prepared to even pick it up myself.

I'm nice that way :-)

Christmas is cancelled

Had to laugh at the absudity of a suggestion by the ANC to scrap public holidays on Christmas and Easter as we are a secular state. Ha. Imagine. No more long weekend over Easter and we're all working on the 25th of December. Even though it probably will never happen, in a small way I do wish it does. Then finally people may think twice about voting for the ANC.

Strike

At the risk of sounding cliche and jumping on the bandwagon, I feel I need to comment on the on-going strikes in the country. I haven't really been very affected by these strikes. Apart from the fact that we can't seem to get any further with home affairs regarding my apparently non-existent ID application, I (plainly) couldn't care less whether people strike or not. I don't know anyone who is in a government school and has had exams postponed, I don't need to get hold of any public servants to be able do my job, and I don't need to go to a government hospital, even if there were a medical emergency.

But I was reading the front page of the Sunday Times yesterday, and realised that this is really getting out of hand now. People are actually being turned away from hospitals and some have even died. A woman had to have an emergency cesarean and without any help in the operating theatre, the doctor couldn't save the baby.

That just makes me angry.

More angry at government than at the strikers I think. Most of them just want to have a decent amount of money to live off. (I am not referring to those inciting violence and intimidating those that want to go to work). And it seems like the only way government will listen in this country is if you strike. (Though it seems as though even that is not helping this time).

OK. So the government doesn't have money. Never mind the fact that we were (proudly) under budget last year. By I don't know how many million. My colleague was complaining today about how these government officials drive these fancy cars and earn millions, and how they're not the ones who have to go to government hospitals, and their children don't go to government schools, so they are not affected by this. It's the ordinary poor man and woman on the street. He doesn't believe for a second that the government doesn't have enough money. People are sitting at the morgue and hospitals unable to bury their dead because they can't get death certificates from home affairs. That's horrific.

I'm VERY unproudly South African today.

About marriage

I overheard two of my colleagues speaking today. One was saying that the reason he and his girlfriend don't want to get married is because when you're married, you are forced to be together. If you are not married, however, you are freely choosing to be with that person every day of your life. He said he wakes up every day and chooses to be with his partner because he loves her.

I do understand what he's saying, but you could say the same about marriage. Regardless of the religious reasons that are attached to the institution of marriage, is marriage not the ultimate sign of love and commitment? When you say "I do" (actually I just said "YES" and never "I do"), you are saying "I want to wake up next to you for the rest of my life. I choose you as my life partner." Marriage is not for sissies. This is the real deal. You have to love, and be very serious and committed to your partner. When you're just "together" it's easier to get out of the relationship - there's always that back door that you leave open... Just in case.

But even marriage has lost its importance. I see on Ricki Lake (I try not to watch this regularly, but what else is on between 1 and 2! It's either Ricki or Days...) - every other day the theme of the programme is cheating. Girlfriends cheating on boyfriends, husbands cheating on wives... Today for the first time in a long time I could really see that the wife who was being cheated on was genuinely hurt by this. Usually all parties seem rather unperturbed.

For my husband and I, marriage is Holy and wonderful and the ultimate sign of love and commitment. Not everyone seems to share our opinion though...

St Tropez

We drove past St Tropez today. I couldn't help sparing a prayer for those that were affected by the shooting there a few weeks ago. And I noticed how this lovely sidewalk restaurant seemed rather empty. Not only have the gunmen destroyed many people's lives by shooting an innocent man, but they are costing this business unknowable amounts in customers. Apart from being cruel and conscienceless, these gunmen are overwhelmed and fully immersed in an immense selfishness.

The injustice of it all

My husband was telling me about a documentary he watched on SABC2 last night. "Black Gold" I think was the name, and it was about the coffee industry. We all know that Africa is being exploited but hell, this really shocked us. The coffee is being sold in Africa to huge multi-national first world companies at a ridiculously low price, and then sold again to wholesalers at about 1000 times the price. And while people are sipping away at their coffee in Starbucks, the people who actually farm and harvest the stuff are living in abject poverty (I knew there was a reason I stopped drinking coffee). I think they earn half a dollar a day. Africa contributes but one percent to the world's economy. If only that figure could be pushed up by another 1 percent, Africa's financial problems will be half solved.

A colleague and myself attended a Maskew Miller Longman book launch today. I couldn't believe the trouble they go to, just to try and increase their profits. We were treated like royalty with free drinks, free buffet finger lunch and free book samples. And as a parting gift we all got a huge box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates (At least R 70 at Pick n Pay).

On the way back I thought of the coffee farm workers. What I got for free today (all in the name of marketing) probably surmounts to 10 months of their salary. There is so much injustice in the world.

My human side

Today is debtor's day. This means I get to phone all those people that have amounts outstanding on their accounts - mostly those that are sitting in 90 days or more. It's not really the most pleasant of jobs, but people usually don't argue and promise to pay as soon as possible. Two of the phone calls I made today really affected me. Maybe more than they should have.

I phoned one lady who is a nurse, a widow (thus a single mom) and only earns between R 2500 and R 5000 a month. Her account is in 90 days by about R 850. I tried to get hold of her last week, but could only get through to her daughter, who promised to tell her about it. When I phoned today, she was audibly shocked. She had completely forgotten about the account. She kept on mumbling "Oh my gosh", and "Where am I going to get the money from?". She wanted to know if she can pay in installments. I literally winced when I had to tell her that she has no choice but to pay the full amount, as it is in 90 days already. She asked me, so helplessly, what I wanted her to do now. I could only say "Pay the money as soon as possible". I thought she might start crying. I so badly wanted to say "Don't worry! Just pay what you can and when you can."
But it's not me she owes the money, but the company. And the company doesn't care if you're a widow and a nurse and only earn pittance every month. I really felt like I was being cruel and cold. But this is my job.

And then I phoned a library who had not payed their account. The phone was answered by a lady with a rather timid voice. Now that I think about it, she was probably just really upset. I asked for the contact-person who pays the account. The lady on the other end said: "She's not in today". So I asked for a cell phone number. "I'm... I'm afraid the person you are looking for has passed away." She sounded so fragile and hurt and like she was suffering terribly. I didn't know what to say. I heard myself forcing out a "Sorry" and ending the call. I felt like such a dog. Here I was, all I'm supposed to care about is getting money out of these people, without giving a thought to what they might be going through. But I felt myself feeling sad and really sorry for the nameless woman on the other end. I had to gather myself for a few minutes before calling back and asking about the outstanding payments.

I sometimes feel like I live in a bubble. Then again, you just cannot be aware of the hundreds of tragic things going on around you - you would exhaust yourself emotionally in one single day. But surely I should be a little more empathic with those that cross my path. Too bad its not in my job description.

Erkables

We all have those little things that erk us.

Top of my list of erkables has to be the wet, cold shower curtain that sticks to you. This happens when you've stepped, shivering, into the shower, and are just enjoying the hot water flowing over you, when the cold, wet and miserable shower curtain gets sucked into the shower and sticks to you. *YELL*

Another really erkable thing is when you've got a nice fresh piece of bread which you want to spread with butter. When the butter is a little too hard it manages to rip up the whole bread while you're trying to spread it. Arg.

Third on my list today is when I've just laboured to clean the house - swept, wiped, dusted and mopped - and somehow someone manages to spill something, or walk into the newly mopped house with dirty shoes... *Clench teeth*

Arg. What erks you?

When white people get together...

We had dinner on Friday night with some people from church. It was a wonderful evening with good food, dessert, wine and company. We had a good few laughs as well. What really stuck in my mind though, was that most of the evening was spent complaining about the situation in the country.

This one's son can't get a job - even though he has a masters degree (sounds pretty familiar), but is white - and now can only get work in a call centre; this one's husband was unemployed for years because he was told he will never be promoted because he is white, and with a low salary couldn't provide for his family; this one's family has immigrated to Australia for similar reasons; this one is busy training a person of colour who has no qualifications and is more than likely to end up as her boss one day soon...

It's all just so unfair. I mean, I have been affected by affirmative action too. Who exactly is this helping though? Whites get more offended, scared, embittered and disillusioned; blacks are left to wonder if they were given these positions just because of the colour of their skin - I'm sure it's not very good for their self-esteem.

As a white person I feel trapped in a corner. Surely if we've studied long and hard we are entitled to getting jobs? I had nothing to do with Apartheid! I'm not a racist, I'm open-minded and interested in other cultures, I struggle with money just as much as anyone else starting out.

How are people supposed to heal and forgive each other if we're literally being put up against each other? Again?!

The electricity crisis

Apart from the hike in the petrol price really bugging me at the moment, this electricity thing is just getting ridiculous now.

We had a power failure this morning. Even though it only lasted half an hour, we had to turn customers away because we couldn't check up-to-date prices of books and couldn't use the credit card machines. We all sat in the front reading the paper. Imagine how it was like for those people in Bedfordview who didn't have electricity for 3 days. I was checking out "The Grape Escape" last week, and this poor dude who was trying to make wine couldn't because of a power failure. This really affects everyone!

And then (I feel) they still have the cheek to tell us to save electricity. Of course it's good to save. But we always put off unnecessary lights, we don't even have a heater, put off all unnecessary appliances... What more can we do?

And now they wanna push up the electricity price by 16%... The worst is, we can't do anything about it. We must just sit and accept all of this because no matter how much we complain, kick, scream, moan etc, Eskom will unfortunately always be in our lives.

German efficiency

The Germans have a global reputation for being correct, on time, and just generally efficient (sometimes even irritatingly so). A friend was telling me a German colleague of hers arrived literally one minute late for a meeting and apologised for being late. If only we could have this mentality in Africa...

A German student ordered a book from us the other day and was visibly surprised when it arrived the very next day. He said: "In Germany this is normal, but this never happens in South Africa!". Well of course. We wouldn't expect anything less from the efficient Germans.

When my aunt brought me my favourite board game from Germany I was very surprised to find some of the pieces missing. As soon as I noticed, I went to their website and emailed my complaint. I was mildly surprised that they took a week to reply, but impressed when they finally did to inform me that the missing pieces were on their way. I waited excitedly, and, as I expected, the pieces were waiting for me at the post office 2 weeks later. I ripped open the package to find, to my dismay, the WRONG pieces! Instead of little houses, roads and cities, I ended up with funny looking knights and castles. I was utterly aghast. This was just not what I had come to expect from the Germans. How could they make such a gross error? And to top it all off, they had addressed the package to "Mr" instead of "Mrs"...!!

I went back disappointed and angry the next day and emailed them again. I had clearly stated which pieces I wanted. I received a speedy reply this time, assuring me that they would send the right pieces (I got no apology, however). Another 2 weeks went by and this time when the package arrived it was addressed to "Mrs" and had the correct pieces in.

Just as my trust in German efficiency and correctness was starting to be restored, I received another package in the mail. In their infinite correctness and efficiency, they had sent the same package again. I guess communication is not top on the Germans' priority list...