Decisions decisions

A week before our wedding, you would have expected our tensions to run high, our families to be disagreeing about flowers, decorations, guests and goodness knows what else. Weddings always expose the weak family bonds. In so many ways our wedding was perfect. My mom-in-law totally respected what I wanted. But since I often didn't know what I wanted she made really good suggestions. My mom also totally allowed me my freedom to choose exactly what I wanted. And my dad provided the finances*. So, very uncharacteristically, our families actually really get on, and our wedding was more of a strengthening of bonds exercise than one that blew the cover on strained ties. I love my family, and so does my husband. Just as I love my husband's family.

So Christmas time is upon us once again. When you're married, you always have to make the hard decision as to WHO you will spend Christmas with this year. Last year it was my husband's mom. So by rights it would have to be my family this year. Obviously we want to be with both. My sister might be leaving to go to Germany soon, my grandfather is getting very old, and I haven't seen my dad since Easter. And of course I always like seeing my mom. My husband's mom is all on her own though - she's basically only got her sister, as her other children all emigrated.

After much thought we decided that because of costs and other reasons** we would rather stay put and not see either of them.

But then last night my mom offered to pay for our flights to Cape Town. I was on the Internet the whole morning looking for suitable flights. Obviously airlines cash in at this time, and the prices are SKY HIGH (pun is intended). Even Nationwide - despite falling engines - has ridiculous prices. Eventually I found some flights with Mango, but the problem of my mom-in-law was still not solved. Our first thought was to get her down to CT as well, but the prices are sometimes even worse. It just wouldn't be worth it.

And so we were faced with a decision. My family, or my husband's family.

*SIGH* I hate being faced with these kinds of decisions. Because it's not like the one is more important than the other. Or that we love one more than the other. I've got a headache just thinking about it again. It's like choosing between an Oreo Cheese Cake and a Pecan Nut Pie. Both are just wonderful. But you have to pick one, since you can't have your cakes (both of them) and eat them.

After much phoning, deliberation, stress and prayers, we decided that the best would be to have my husband's mom come down to us for Christmas. I have peace about the decision, but still feel heart sore though, even though my mom was very understanding (Thanks Mom, love you).

I'm really very grateful that our families get on well, and that we don't have issues with the "in-laws", but at the same time I wonder if it's not equally challenging when you get on brilliantly with both of them (especially when you all live so far apart)...

*He even said he felt bad for not being more involved, and just being the guy who pays.
**I mean, who do you choose? You can't really choose between 2 families that are both so dear to both of you.