Decisions decisions

A week before our wedding, you would have expected our tensions to run high, our families to be disagreeing about flowers, decorations, guests and goodness knows what else. Weddings always expose the weak family bonds. In so many ways our wedding was perfect. My mom-in-law totally respected what I wanted. But since I often didn't know what I wanted she made really good suggestions. My mom also totally allowed me my freedom to choose exactly what I wanted. And my dad provided the finances*. So, very uncharacteristically, our families actually really get on, and our wedding was more of a strengthening of bonds exercise than one that blew the cover on strained ties. I love my family, and so does my husband. Just as I love my husband's family.

So Christmas time is upon us once again. When you're married, you always have to make the hard decision as to WHO you will spend Christmas with this year. Last year it was my husband's mom. So by rights it would have to be my family this year. Obviously we want to be with both. My sister might be leaving to go to Germany soon, my grandfather is getting very old, and I haven't seen my dad since Easter. And of course I always like seeing my mom. My husband's mom is all on her own though - she's basically only got her sister, as her other children all emigrated.

After much thought we decided that because of costs and other reasons** we would rather stay put and not see either of them.

But then last night my mom offered to pay for our flights to Cape Town. I was on the Internet the whole morning looking for suitable flights. Obviously airlines cash in at this time, and the prices are SKY HIGH (pun is intended). Even Nationwide - despite falling engines - has ridiculous prices. Eventually I found some flights with Mango, but the problem of my mom-in-law was still not solved. Our first thought was to get her down to CT as well, but the prices are sometimes even worse. It just wouldn't be worth it.

And so we were faced with a decision. My family, or my husband's family.

*SIGH* I hate being faced with these kinds of decisions. Because it's not like the one is more important than the other. Or that we love one more than the other. I've got a headache just thinking about it again. It's like choosing between an Oreo Cheese Cake and a Pecan Nut Pie. Both are just wonderful. But you have to pick one, since you can't have your cakes (both of them) and eat them.

After much phoning, deliberation, stress and prayers, we decided that the best would be to have my husband's mom come down to us for Christmas. I have peace about the decision, but still feel heart sore though, even though my mom was very understanding (Thanks Mom, love you).

I'm really very grateful that our families get on well, and that we don't have issues with the "in-laws", but at the same time I wonder if it's not equally challenging when you get on brilliantly with both of them (especially when you all live so far apart)...

*He even said he felt bad for not being more involved, and just being the guy who pays.
**I mean, who do you choose? You can't really choose between 2 families that are both so dear to both of you.

Departures

So my favourite colleague handed in his resignation today. I'm rather sad. Not sure if it's because I'm a little jealous that he's moving up in the world, or because I have so much uncertainty in my life that I don't want the little comfort zone I have at work to be rattled in any way. I know change is inevitable, but I was hoping it would be change that I have control over. Like me moving. Not like a colleague (favourite at that) moving on to a better job. We always have so much fun together.

Maybe that's why I am sad. He was the only one at work I could really laugh with. I think I'm really going to miss him. Work will probably turn into a fairly dull affair. Even duller than it is at the moment.

It seems like a lot of people are leaving.

My good friend Mrs M is also nearing her departure. This has probably made my colleague's resignation so much more tangible for me. I hate saying goodbye. The people staying behind are always worse off than those that are doing the leaving.

My sister is probably leaving soon too. I don't really want to think about that right now. My aunt is leaving to go back to Germany in a few days. My grandfather is leaving for heaven sometime.

Apart from the fact that I will miss all these people dearly, the more I think about it, the more I realise that I dislike change. Change in things that are good already. I guess we're all like that in some ways. Scared of change. I hate that I like my comfort zones and my set ways. I want to be out of the box and different and adventurous. But here I am in my 8 - 5 lamenting change that I can't control...

Real time

So my mini holiday is temporarily over. And I'm rather disappointed to be back at work today. I've been having so much fun with my relatives (mom, sister & aunt) - despite the fact that we all have to squash into our little flat (I had to eat my apple really quietly this morning* - all rooms were occupied with sleeping people - I nearly ended up eating it in the bath).

It just seems like time goes so terribly fast when you don't want it to. And now when I want it to speed up it is really going very slowly. It's probably doing it on purpose to spite me. In the two days I took off work we did some really cool things, had some wonderful laughs (especially when we ended up having our cheese and wine picnic in our car - our very small car), and have just spent some quality time together.

I'm feeling a little anxious today. I think it is because they will be leaving again soon. And I am stuck at work with little to do. Wasting the valuable time I could be spending with them on Facebook or some other unworthy cause. Not that I can't survive without them, but more because I have been looking forward to this week for so long, and now it is flying by uncontrolled. A huge anti-climax is looming on the not so distant horizon. I feel there's so much more I want to speak about, so much more time I would like to spend with my sister, talking sisterly stuff, or with my mom talking momly stuff, or my aunt, speaking auntly stuff.

But I guess this is what it's like nowadays. I mean, who really still lives in the same place as their close relatives? We are scattered all over the globe. Thanks to Skype, Facebook, Gmail and other friends we can manage to stay in contact much better than before; even feel as if our loved ones are much closer than they really are. And those precious moments that we can spend together in the flesh should be cherished and celebrated and just enjoyed.

*Luckily paw paw and bananas can be quietly consumed - so I did this in bed next to my sleeping husband.