Only in SA...

We must be the only country in the world that has car guards. On top of that we have about 1 car guard to every 10 cars. Nevermind the fact that we have 1 teacher to 50 students in some schools. Car guards are obviously so much more important than education. I've always wondered what a car guard would do if 3 armed men want to come and steal the car he/she is guarding. Armed with nothing but his/her bright yellow bib, obvious directing skills, and keen sense of sight used to spot empty parking spaces, I'm not sure he/she would be able to hold off the attacker for too long.

I know, I know - at least they're not on the street begging. But I've read somewhere that car guards earn from R 4 000 - R 12 000 a month (in Pretoria anyway)!! Imagine. Tax free. On average, they probably earn more than I do. I have, in passing, mentioned to my husband that maybe this would be a good career option for me, but he didn't want to know about it.

In principle I guess it's quite a good idea - someone being there reduces the chance of cars being stolen. If only they would stick to that. Instead they love to metamorphose into driving instructors, waving you wildly out of your parking spot - as if we don't own a driver's licence. Mind you, in South Africa you never know. But for those of us who have passed our driver's legally, I find it rather rude to have a driving lesson every time I leave a parking space. Or when you get to a reasonably empty parking lot they're all over like ants around a sugar bowl, waving you to an open spot, of which there are numerous in sight. Like, HELLO, am I blind? My husband deliberately parks in a space they have not indicated to.

And then I still feel guilty if I don't give them anything, for supposedly looking after my car. How often it's happened that they seem to come out of nowhere when you're ready to leave. Have they really been looking after your car? My husband is ruthless. He just drives away without giving them anything, while I hide my face and hope they don't remember us or our car... I do appreciate them when I am alone with a bunch of shopping and they help me load the car. Then I will give because they have genuinely helped me.

But what really grates our carrot is when we see them coming out of Debonair's with a nice big pizza or sitting in McGinty's having a draft (or 3). Do they really want to be car guards for the rest of their lives? Save man, and study or get a real job.

Maybe I'm being a bit unfair by generalising but they really erk us! My husband and I love shopping at the mall - NO CAR GAURDS!