The keyboard

When speaking to people from head office, I usually feel compelled to put on my sweetest, politest voice; my brain suddenly becomes alert, ready to answer any hard questions they might fire at me. People from head office somehow enjoy (in my head anyway) a higher status than normal people. Maybe because they have the power to fire me.

So the computer was giving problems today: while trying to log in, a box popped up every time I tried to type in my name. Trying in vain, I was left with no choice. I had to call head office.

I explained the problem, expecting the computer expert on the other end of the line to have the solution ready (after all, he is from head office). My alert brain was ready to do what he was about to tell me.

"OK, I want you to pick up your keyboard, turn it around, and give it a good slap!"

Was this guy for real?

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious."

I tentatively picked up the keyboard, still expecting him to tell me it was all a joke. Was this expert computer guy who had no doubt studied for years to land an elusive job at head office really suggesting I give the keyboard a good ol' beating? It seemed like something more computer ignorants like me would suggest. I was rather disappointed when this little trick didn't work. Mr Head Office's next suggestion was to restart the computer (pretty much what I would have done - restart and hope the problem goes away). And then he said to call him if it happened again.

But this time when I logged on the problem seemed to have disappeared... And all this left me questioning my elevated views of head office and the use of having a computer expert who believes in hitting computers.