Boundaries

When I was single, I was always very aware of what sort of signals I was sending out to males. Especially those that I wasn't interested in. It was terribly hard for me to be nice to men I wasn't interested in without them thinking I had ulterior motives. And even when I thought I had managed to convey a "purely friendship" message, it often turned out that those men thought there was more.

I've realised now that it was probably their fault and not mine. My husband has confirmed that a single guy is ALWAYS on the look-out. What's scary is that it's not only single guys. Men (AND women) like to have their egos stroked - whether they're in a relationship or not. Obviously we're not all like that - especially when you find the right person, you seem to get all the attention and ego-stroking you need from your partner. But when I was in a bad relationship it was nice to know that other men thought you were attractive, or were interested in you, even though you knew there wasn't a chance.

Luckily, my husband fulfills all my needs, and I am lucky to have many male friends that respect my marriage, some in relationships or marriages of their own.

But there's this guy at work. For some reason he freaks me out a little. From the beginning I have been a little weary. I have always kept my distance, never revealing too much, making sure to mention my husband constantly, but still being civil. He is himself in a serious relationship. I was beginning to think that it was all just in my head. But today when I was surfing on Facebook, he happened to walk past and saw my profile picture. He leaned in and said (way too close to my ear):
"You have a beautiful smile."

*SHUDDER*

Even if he meant it in a nice, innocent, friendship sort of way, I want to hear these sorts of things from my husband and not my colleague!!! I can't really think of any guy (other than my husband, maybe family, or a male friend I know REALLY well) that I would say something like that to... Maybe I'm overreacting, but that really gave me the creeps!