Library launch

An amount of insincerity is necessary in society. Imagine everyone would do and say what they wanted at any time. There would be chaos. But just because I understand it doesn't change the fact that I sometimes cringe at the utter insincerity of some things. Having to endure another boring function today - a library launch - was a great example of this. I didn't think that anything could be more boring than the function I attended on Wednesday, but it seems I was wrong. It should be criminal for a bunch of people to be so passionate about libraries (sorry mom). One very important lady in the Library world in SA spoke for a whole hour about the history of the library society.

*FAINT*

Half the speech was about how uninvolved the libraries are in the society and that they should get their act together. This was only one of the many speeches we had to endure. I'm sure this is all very interesting to those in the library industry, but not for us... The municipality representative looked almost as bored as I was, and this reflected in the way he laboured through his address - he did very badly at hiding this boredom as he said: "I am so thrilled to be here at this auspicious occasion". I don't think anyone believed him.

During the hour long address of the main speaker, many people unashamedly got up and walked out, depleting the already half-empty hall even further. With baited breathe we all waited for the "Librarian of the year" award to be bestowed on one dedicated candidate. This included a dramatic pause before the announcement that only "Strictly Come Dancing" presenters could ever rival.

At the end of this long and sordid affair, we heard a thank you address of another (at least) 15 minutes. All the speakers were thanked for their inspirational, moving and interesting words. HA! People walked out during their speeches for crying out loud! Such blatant insincerity. Just to be nice and polite and all that.
It really doesn't become me.

Grudges

Some people really like to hold grudges. I don't mean the you-cheated-on-me-and-lied-about-it grudge - that I can still understand. I'm also not talking about you-hurt-me-so-bad-I-can-never-forget-it grudge. I'm talking about we-had-an-argument-about-something-silly grudge that happened like 7 years ago when we were all silly and immature and 16 for goodness sake. It's like: get over it! Be the bigger person! And then the person in question still has the stupidity to say "I have grown up a whack since I was 16". Erm... Right. And this is how you prove your new-found maturity.

Against the grain

Some things just go against the grain. Like leaving food on your plate at a restaurant without taking it home, or having to throw away food that's still good. I can only throw food away when it's really bad already. I discovered something else today that goes against the grain. Our shop often returns books that are out of print. The publisher instructed us, this time, to only send the cover and title pages and leave the rest. As I'm watching my colleague rip the insides of the book out I just can't help thinking it's just not right. All the effort and money that went into writing, printing, publishing and shipping the book, and now it is just being ripped out and used in a bonfire for all I know! It's just wrong. When my husband lays down a book (open) on its pages I preach to him about how it damages the spine, and scramble to find a bookmark and rescue it before it's too late.

Mom: your lessons and warnings on how to treat books correctly have definitely been ingrained in me forever.

Food makes up for it

Food makes up for it, regardless of how crap a situation is. That's my opinion anyway. Went to another dull book launch in Durbs today. I knew the day was gonna be a good one (food-wise) when my manager offered me biltong at 9:08 this morning, and I greedily accepted. We were welcomed at the book launch with a wonderful cup of tea and a scone with jam and cream (delish).

I was just getting excited about the prospect of an interesting morning, shoving my free sling-book-bag with freebies under the table when the national manager's "short" speech dragged on like old chewing gum. This was the start of 3 whole hours of mind-numbingly boring information about books that target those outside of our target market. The so-called orange juice was disgustingly sweet and even the endearmints on the table only kept me occupied for so long.

It was really turning out to be painful. We were thanked at the end of the 3 hours by a rep who "couldn't find the words to thank us enough". I know she was just sucking up to us because she wanted our business, but it was nevertheless nice to pretend to be appreciated for enduring 3 hours of extreme boredom. And then only because we knew there was a hearty lunch waiting for us.

And was it hearty. They had everything from macaroni cheese, to briyani, chicken, roast pork, potatoes, fish, stew, curry, creamed spinach, butternut, gravy, all different kinds of salads, and free drinks at the bar. As we sat their enjoying our meal in silence, I clean forgot about the preceding 3 hours of pain, but was instead in food heaven. To end off a wonderful meal I had some deliciously creamy chocolate mousse and fruit salad with ice cream.

Ah. Food makes up for anything.

Marriage and relationships revisited

My husband and I have been watching how marriages of friends are slowly falling apart around us. It's scary. People so often seem to choose the wrong life partners. Or maybe they choose partners for the wrong reasons. People are getting married later and later in their lives. You see people in their 30s that are still single. Maybe this is why they rush into something? The mere thought of staying on the shelf is too ghastly to contemplate that they would rather marry the wrong person (or their 3rd or 4th choice) than be single.

We've noticed that often people enter into relationships because the other person makes them feel good and needed, a self-confidence booster as it were. I'm not saying my husband doesn't do these things for me, but first and foremost I am totally and utterly in love with the person that he is. I love spending time with him because I love his heart and his soul, his personality, his wisdom, his mind: everything about him. The fact that he makes me feel good and is a confidence-booster for me is an added bonus, but it is not the reason I am with him.

I think people often confuse this issue. They think they love the person for who he/she is, but it is actually just the person making them feel good and needed. Tragically this eventually becomes clear later in marriage when the initial honeymoon phase has faded away, and all you're left with is the other person.

Before entering into a serious relationship I think it is important to know yourself at least a little bit. Know where your strengths and weaknesses are so you can introspect about what you're really feeling about a person. Is it just exciting or ego-boosting to be receiving some attention, or are you really falling in love with who this person is? I know they say opposites attract, but when it comes to core morals and values, I think this couldn't be further from the truth. Eventually this catches up with you, and either partner will have to change their values and morals for the better (or worse).

Even though you can't choose your family and there is often conflict with the in-laws, the feedback from your friends and family is crucial. If people that know you very well are weary about your relationship (especially if it's not only one person that disapproves but a few), take some time to listen to them. They are probably doing so because they care about you, and not because they want to be malicious. And either your friends don't know you well, or you're with the wrong person.

It really makes me sad to see good people's lives turned upside down after only a few years of marriage. Great people that are just with the wrong partner that brings out the worst in them. I know what it's like to be in a bad relationship. By the grace of God I got out of there in time. Many friends disapproved, and I knew in my heart it was wrong. But only when I was ready to face this truth did I manage to get out. Some people only realise this truth way into the relationship: when they're married and have children. And then it's too late.

Email blunder

Got an email from my manager today. This is what it said: "Thanks SWEATY, your efforts are noted". I'm glad she notices that I work so hard, it makes me sweaty... LOL.

Goodness

What drives people to be good? Or are we inherently good? Reading Mrs M's blog about morality and values made me think about this. With Christians I can understand it - inspired by Jesus and following God's laws; love your neighbour as you love yourself etc. But what sort of paradigm do those use that are atheists? I was very interested to hear that Zackie Achmat from the Treatment Action Campaign is actually an atheist. He has done more than a lot of Christians combined (me included - ouch!). Where does he get this sense of compassion and goodness from? Is it just about treating others with respect and treating them like you want to be treated? Is it just about basic human rights? Or do we learn how to treat others from our parents and those around us? That seems a little too simple though, and a cop-out for evil people. We always have a choice. Maybe it's that good people are touched by God but they just don't ascribe it to Him...?